Surviving the Season

Getting Through the Holidays with the LD Child

How can parents and their children with learning disabilities (LD) get through the holiday season with a minimum of emotional meltdowns?

This time of year, we often hear the words “merry” and “joyous” banded about in reference to the holiday season. But for the parents of a child with a learning disability, the holiday is anything but a happy time. Routine and structure are the lifeblood of a child with a learning difficulty of any sort and the long winter vacation offers just the opposite. It’s no wonder things get a little hairy and emotional meltdowns are the order, rather than the exception, of the day.

The antidote is clear: in order for parents (and their children) to survive, some sort of structure must be imposed and a routine created. Yet the holidays are hectic and overwhelming, even for well-organized adults. How can a parent compensate for the lack of structure and routine for a learning-disabled child when things are so frenzied?

The simplest way to help your child is to include them as a factor in your holiday planning. Just as you schedule your holidays plans in your calendar (bake X-mas cookies Wednesday, host open-house from 12PM-5PM January 1st) so too, you can pencil in activities with your child. The typical school day is broken up into regular blocks of time spent in routine activities. You can’t quite mimic that effect, and you’re not expected to do so, but any kind of quiet, scheduled activity, for instance 45 minutes of reading from a favorite storybook, can give your child back their bearings at this time.

Ongoing Activities

In order to keep your child from feeling pressured, you may want to make an activity an ongoing event. For instance, if your child likes decorating the tree, schedule a time of day for that, and let them decorate the tree over a period of days. You can start things off by stringing the lights. Then, during the time you’ve scheduled each day for tree-decoration, place a box of ornaments nearby for them to choose from.

The great thing about this activity is that your child feels included in your holiday preparations. They feel a part of things. Stay near your child to offer assistance as needed, and don’t neglect to tell them stories about the history of those decorations.

A parent should also prioritize their holiday plans and activities. Each demand on your time and energy should be considered in the light of your child’s needs and what you must provide to keep them happy and calm. In some cases, you may not have a choice. Some family outings, for instance, may be mandatory.

Examining Choices

If going to Grandma’s house for X-mas Eve dinner is nonnegotiable, attending five open houses in a row definitely is open to discussion. Keep plans down to a minimum for the sake of your child to avoid exposing them to unfamiliar surroundings, activities, and fuss. You can discuss this as a family and decide together which events take precedence and which, with regrets, you must skip. By examining your choices together as a family, you can determine the best way to spend your emotional and physical resources.

Last but not least, schedule in the joy. Clear a space on your calendar to just be with each other and enjoy time together. Take a walk in the snow and smell the air. Listen to some holiday music and sip a cup of hot cocoa together. Talk to your child and listen to them, too. That’s the stuff of joy for both you and your child and the holiday dividends of being a parent.

Happy Holidays!

Thanks to www.cognibeat.com for allowing us to reproduce this article. It can be found in it's entirety at http://community.cognibeat.com/2010/12/survivingtheseason/